I went to my parents’ 50th Golden Wedding Anniversary Party. I didn’t wear the dress my mom had originally gotten for me because my mom finally agreed to let me wear something I was more comfortable in. And even though I didn’t want to write a speech, I couldn’t get it out of my mind. So, before the party, while my mom, my brother’s wife, and I were getting our hair and makeup done, I wrote a speech on my iPhone notes app. Here is the text of the speech:
When my parents asked me to write a speech, I didn’t think I could do it. I didn’t know what to say and how to say it, and my stress and anxiety went through the roof.
At first, my dad wanted me to write a poem. But let me tell you, It’s not easy to draft a poem out of thin air. I have a bachelor’s degree in English and a Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing, and I still think writing is a mighty task.
My mom’s idea was for me to write a speech like the one I gave at their wedding anniversary on November 11, 2011. She said that I was the writer in the family and everyone enjoyed my speech because it made them laugh.
No pressure, right?
I grew up thinking that my parents have high expectations. For one thing, when I told that them I wanted to be a writer, they told me that I should be more than just a writer. I should write bestselling books and be a millionaire.
Looking back, though, I gotta say my parents had some good advice. I would love to be a millionaire.
But the main reason I felt ambivalent about writing this speech is because my parents argue a lot. Ever since I can remember, it feels like they’ve been having the same argument.
Mom wants things done her way. And if we don’t make her happy, she gives us the most awful guilt trips. When I told Mom that I didn’t know if I could write a speech, she said, “You don’t care about me.”
She also frequently complains about how Pop’s always buying things he doesn’t need just because it’s on sale. How he never helps her in the garden. How he leaves things all around the house and doesn’t pick up after himself. Sometimes, she would say, “I’m going to divorce your father.”
I honestly didn’t know how their marriage lasted this long. But then I looked at the big picture and I had to ask myself: Are my parents’ arguments so bad that their marriage is a disaster? Could they be happy even if they argue a lot? Are their expectations really too high? Or do they want the best for us?
Maybe mom wanted things her way because she was looking out for us and wanted the best for us. Maybe the reason she wants me to make lots of money as a writer is so she won’t have to worry about my health and future and so that I’ll be financially secure.
Maybe their marriage works and has lasted for fifty years and counting, because even thought they argue a lot, they have so much more in common. Even though my mom gets mad at my dad, she’s the first person to stick up for him.
For example, I hate talking politics with my dad. We always end up arguing. I tell him I don’t want to talk about it but he keeps going on and on and on and I can’t help it. I get so angry and yell at him. And that’s when Mom says, “Don’t talk to your father like that. Be respectful.”
Similarly, my dad is mom’s #1 cheerleader. Everything she does is magic, and everything she believes in is the truth. He’s supportive of her endeavors, he would drive her to healing touch classes, and he tells everyone who will listen how great she is.
When Mom and I would argue, he’d tell me to be nice to your mother because you only have one. Also she gave birth to you. And from all the stories I’ve heard, it wasn’t easy. In fact, Mom screamed and kicked the nurse. My dad tells me all the time that my mom’s a trier. She has a type A personality, she’s a go-getter and doesn’t give up easily.
She wanted this day to be memorable for everyone here. She did all the planning and the decorations. She worked very hard to make this day special.
Maybe the reason their marriage has lasted this long is because they have more likes than dislikes and share the same beliefs and values. Respect your parents, work hard, be a good citizen, and most importantly, your mother is always right.
After all, Mom said I’m the writer in the family, and I wrote this speech even though I didn’t think I could. But I’m glad that on this day I could hopefully make one of Mom’s dreams come true.
Mom and Pop, Congratulations on your 50th Golden Wedding Anniversary.
The sad thing for me was I looked back at the pictures from the party and didn’t recognize myself. Anyway, I’m glad I went and stayed for a little while, wrote and gave the speech. It made my mom happy, and I probably would’ve regretted it if I didn’t. I’m actually not scared of getting in front of the mic and giving speeches or reading poetry as long as I have something to say. I had to believe in what I wrote in order to get out there and do it.
Someone said they were so happy I gave a speech because I’m normally so shy. LOL. I’m disabled and depressed, and I have anxiety. I don’t know what to say to people, and most of the time, I’m just too tired to think. It was nice to see some of my relatives at the party though. There were cupcakes and a bar. I had a Stella Artois, which I’d always wanted to try. I don’t usually drink beer, because it reminds me of college keg parties. But the Stella was very good.
It was also nice to hang out with my brother and his wife, who were my favorite people at the party. My brother’s wife recently got a new car, a Toyota Versa, and I loved it. It has all the neatest gadgets and a moonroof. Someday, I’ll get a new car too.
BEING KATINKA 