Well, the news is that we returned Harley to the breeder. I was just stressing out too much and the pain from arthritis was not improving, especially in my hip area. I think I really tried with Harley, even took her to puppy class. My parents were helping me out as well, but it was all just too much for us. I felt that Harley needed more time and attention, but I was constantly in pain. After we returned Harley, I saw my doctor again, and she referred me to physical therapy. I really want to get better, especially because my mom’s 70th birthday party is coming up in June. I am improving a little and feeling less pain, but I am still spending a lot of time in bed resting. My mental health is a bit more stable though. I haven’t been doing any of the things I used to do before I was diagnosed with arthritis. Haven’t been playing WoW, haven’t been writing, haven’t been reading that much, though I have been listening to more audiobooks and I continue to update my romance book blog. As a consequence of my current quality of life, I have been watching a lot more TV. LOL. I watched Supergirl Season 1 on Netflix and used my 7-day free trial of Showtime on Amazon to watch Homeland Season 6. I also wake up every morning wondering if Trump got us into war while I was asleep. So, 2017 is way more awful than 2016, and the Trump administration is truly scary. I’m just glad I have my family and few friends on/by my side.
And good riddance 2016!
I spent New Year’s Day setting up my new computer gaming system. I bought it online one-stop shopping at Fry’s, and it was delivered within an hour of my purchase. Faster than Amazon! This is an ASUS G11CD, with Intel i7, Nvidia GTX 1080, and 512 SSD drive. I also bought a Razer Black Widow mechanical keyboard, which is super neat and makes me type faster! I definitely don’t feel like I’m mashing keys in WoW anymore.
This New Year, more than ever, I am thankful for all the good things in my life, old friends and new, and my family who cares about me so much. Life is too short and I’m feeling blessed.
This Christmas George Michael passed away. As if 2016 couldn’t get any worse. I was having dinner at Larsen’s Grill with my parents, brother and his wife, three aunties, and one uncle. We had just finished our appetizers. I had an oyster with a glass of Cabernet. Then, I hopped onto Facebook to see what was up. That’s how I found out. My brother couldn’t believe it either. He asked me if it was fake news. But it was all over Twitter, and I was able to find solid reporting on it. How tremendously sad. I grew up listening to George Michael.
What a crazy year this has been. There’s been good times with family and friends, positives in my life, which have balanced my depression. AND my parents are getting me a puppy, which I’ll get to take home in February. But even with all my blessings in life it hasn’t been enough lately. I’ve been having trouble sleeping and crying a lot since the election, so my psychiatrist started me on a new antidepressant, Abilify, which is actually classified as an anti-psychotic but is FDA-approved to treat bipolar depression. He thinks that I’m feeling more depressed now because I’m realizing that I need more in life. He said that I’m too smart to be as isolated as I am now. That what I have now is not enough for me anymore. I think he’s right. I am missing human connection. I feel like I deserve so much more and so much better. I want to be in love, to love and be loved.
I want somebody to love.
Celebrate George Michael with me.
Yesterday, I had an appointment with my psychiatrist (who recently came back from visiting the Philippines, we talked about Duterte a little but mostly he complained about the smog and pollution). Anyway, he asked me if I knew about the website fivethirtyeight.com, which of course I have and which I refresh throughout the day. (I also compare 538 averages with Real Clear Politics.) My psychiatrist’s conclusion: Trump is toast. Meanwhile, no med changes for me, is good.
Personally, I think my main problem is my chronic neck and shoulder pain. It never goes away. Even if I take a break from the computer, it’s still there. It’s a constant companion and it bothers me. I wish I didn’t have all these problems in life. Things could be worse, right?
My therapist has been encouraging me to do something different from my routine at least once a week. My routine consists of staying in my room all day, reading, working on my book review blog (which I will be discontinuing in October), watching TV (can’t wait for the new season of The Voice), and only going out to the drugstore, doctor appointments, massage therapy, and psychotherapy, and leaving my room to eat, etc. Sometimes, I go out to the garden for some sun and fresh air. Infrequently, I take 15-20 minute walks around the neighborhood.
Well, this weekend I did something totally outside my routine. My brother Eric and his fiance Elsa came to town for wedding preparations. They are getting married in October. On Friday, they went to meet the pastor, who is officiating their wedding, and the caterer. Though Eric and Elsa live in the SF Bay Area, they decided to have the wedding and reception at the Embassy Suites here in town, because we have a lot of family coming from the LA San Fernando Valley area, which is about a 45-50 minute drive versus a 6-hour drive to the Bay Area. Elsa’s immediate family, a few relatives and friends, however, we will driving down and staying in town for the wedding.
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